Volunteers Jess and Stephen first began their journey eleven years ago after they attended a Befriend a Child dinner. Hearing first-hand about Befriend a Child and its mission to support local children living in difficult life situations, Jess and Stephen found themselves talking about what they had learned and felt inspired to get involved. When they applied to become befrienders as a couple in the early summer of 2014, they never imagined they’d still be befriending a decade later!
They first met their befriendee when he was in and out of foster care, having just turned five. With not having stability at such a young age, Mark was withdrawn and lacked confidence.
“We saw our role as one of supporting him through the difficult home circumstances he found himself in, by being reliable friends who wouldn’t let him down, opening him up to new activities and most importantly having some fun.”
Their goal was to create some stability and happy memories, and they introduced him to a wide range of activities in which they discovered his love of cars, prompting many trips to the Alford Transport Museum!
During their outings together, Jess, Stephen and Mark enjoyed cinema visits, trips to Pittodrie, the theatre, museums, castles and swimming. However, Stephen took the lead in teaching Mark to swim, as Jess admits to being hopeless in the water! He now plays football at school and recently gave golf a try (with Stephen leading the way once again!). Most importantly, they make sure to all have fun together.
Stephen loves being there to support Mark and as he’s getting older enjoys, “Sharing banter over which football team Mark supports!”.
During the two years of lockdown, they navigated new challenges but remained committed to keeping in touch via FaceTime. Staying connected was vital to maintain the friendship they had built over the past six years. The couple created a photo album for Mark during the pandemic, including the many memories and moments they had shared together over the years.
Just recently, they reflected on how this album likely contains the only photos of their befriendee’s early childhood, as he had moved frequently within the care system. “He absolutely loves the album. It was such a small thing but knowing he will have some photos and memories for the rest of his life gives him and us great joy.”
Looking back on their long befriending journey, Jess and Stephen have watched with pride as Mark has grown into a confident teenager, building on his social skills, self-esteem and improved wellbeing.
Jess and Stephen feel incredibly proud of the kind and caring young adult he’s becoming, and befriending has been a deeply rewarding experience for them. Watching a child who began life in difficult circumstances grow emotionally, explore new interests and develop into a well-rounded young person has been truly fulfilling.
Reflecting on their decision to befriend as a couple, Jess and Stephen have appreciated being side by side in this journey, knowing there is always “two perspectives, double the fun and double the trouble”. With Mark, their sole purpose has been to build a genuine and consistent relationship, where all three of them can simply have fun together.
Jess, Stephen and Mark’s story indicates the true impact of couple befriending, highlighting how these shared experiences can positively influence the young person as well as the volunteers. Their story is a testament to the work we do at Befriend a Child, where the dedication and passion of one couple has truly transformed the life of a young person, establishing a lifelong friendship and most importantly, being consistent and stable role models in Mark’s life for years to come.
If Jess, Stephen and Mark’s story has inspired you, get in touch today at volunteer@befriendachild.org.uk and explore how you and your partner can help change the life of a young person living in difficult life circumstances.