At just 14 years old, Harry was facing a number of challenges that placed him at risk of becoming increasingly isolated. Living at home with his mum and 2 younger sisters, who are all affected by disability, Harry often spent long periods alone. He struggled with low self-esteem and confidence, alongside his own mental health needs, while his mum was also managing both physical and mental health difficulties.
Harry is neurodivergent and selectively mute, meaning communication could be difficult, particularly with new people. While he had positive relationships at school, he often chose to spend breaks alone and needed support to engage with peers. He had also experienced trauma within his local community and received counselling to help him process this. Despite everything, Harry was clear about what he wanted: “I would like a befriender to take me out to do fun things… I am quiet and it takes me time to build up trust with new people.”
Living at home with all females, it was recognised that Harry lacked a positive male role model he could look up to and had never had 1:1 experiences with an adult male in his life. Harry was then matched with his befriender, Caleb in January 2024. From the beginning, he engaged in his own way, through nods, smiles, laughter and the occasional word. Over time, that connection grew stronger. Together, they began exploring a range of activities, many of which were completely new to Harry or experiences he hadn’t had since he was very young. From trips to the cinema and bowling, to trampolining, beach walks, a football match and even travelling by train to Stonehaven, where Harry happily filled his phone with videos out the window! These outings opened up new opportunities for fun, discovery and confidence-building.
Having 1:1 time with another male figure allowed Harry to go at his own pace, something he hadn’t experienced before. Caleb took time to understand what Harry enjoyed, gently encouraging him to reflect and engage more with each experience. As he shared, “We get to take our time together… I like to ask him questions and encourage reflection to get his mind stimulated.”
As trust developed, so did Harry’s confidence. His communication began to grow naturally, particularly when he was enjoying himself. Caleb noticed a clear shift: “In the last outing we had together, I was taken off guard by how verbal Harry was… It felt to me that it was a significant sign of being happy to express himself around me.” What began as quiet gestures gradually developed into more conversation, with Harry sharing his thoughts, interests and opinions more openly.
Harry has shown no behavioural difficulties during outings and remains positive about his experiences, even when trying something new or unexpected. He appears relaxed and comfortable, and the bond between him and Caleb continues to strengthen. As Caleb reflected, “Harry has let his walls come down… it’s really clear to me that he’s comfortable and happy in my company.”
The impact of this relationship is now being seen beyond their time together. Recently, Harry travelled independently to a friend’s house and made his own way home by bus, something that would have previously felt like a big step. His mum shared how proud she was and recognised that the time Harry has spent with Caleb has played a significant role in building his confidence to try new things on his own.
Harry is now more willing to engage, try new things and express himself. While he still needs support, he is no longer holding himself back in the same way. As Caleb puts it, “He doesn’t shy away from things… he doesn’t seem to hold himself back, feel embarrassed or appear worried… even if new experiences don’t come naturally to him.”
Before, Harry had no male figure in his life that he could turn to, confide in or share experiences with as he only lived at home with his mum and sisters. Now, having that consistent, supportive male role model has made a meaningful difference in Harry’s life. Through patience, encouragement and 1:1 shared experiences, Caleb has helped Harry feel safe, valued and capable, allowing Harry to experience having a male figure in his life who is there just for him.
This dedication has not gone unnoticed, with Caleb being nominated and winning Volunteer of the Year at the Celebrate Aberdeen Awards, recognising his ongoing support, commitment to Befriend a Child, and the life-changing impact he has had on Harry’s life.
If you would like to provide the same life-changing support to a boy in Aberdeen or Aberdeenshire, please get in touch with volunteer@befriendachild.org.uk today and help us reduce the list of boys waiting for a positive male role model.