Paul first discovered the idea of becoming a mentor when he came across a Facebook post looking for male volunteers. Having already worked with children in a variety of settings, the post immediately resonated with him, as growing up in a loving and supportive family, he recognised how fortunate he was to have had that foundation. At the same time, he knew not every young person shared that experience.
“When I came across Befriend and heard the stories about young people in challenging home settings, it had a real effect on me. From my own experience I knew that it’s the early years where a positive influence can have such an impact on a young person’s future life”.
Paul was soon matched with Jack, a 10-year-old boy referred to the service due to low self-esteem, behavioural difficulties and the need for a positive male role model. The pair have now been meeting for seven months.
At the very beginning, Jack was shy, nervous and barely spoke. Paul however, was patient and gentle in his approach, giving Jack the time and space he needed to feel comfortable. One of Paul’s first goals was to help Jack open up and engage in conversation. He wanted Jack not only to talk with him but also to feel free to ask questions and express his own ideas. Paul tried different approaches to spark Jack’s interest and slowly, things began to change.
Now, Jack chats freely during their outings, asking questions and even suggesting activities himself. The transformation in his confidence is clear to see, and the trust between them shines through whenever they are together.
One of the concerns raised when Jack was referred was his heavy use of screen time. With that in mind, Paul set himself a new goal, to help Jack discover a hobby he could really enjoy. Jack quickly showed a love of being outdoors and active, and together they have explored castles, tried rock climbing, bounced around trampoline parks, gone fishing and even cheered on Aberdeen at a football match.
When asked what he enjoys most about mentoring, Paul said:
“Trying out different activities, whether it’s trampolining, fishing, exploring castles, building Lego, watching wildlife or even indoor bowling and seeing what he enjoys most, and what we might develop further. More than that, it’s about building a relationship. Jack is naturally shy and doesn’t say much, but when we’re doing things together, I see him opening up and really enjoying himself. He always says yes to going out somewhere.”
Jack also attends one of Befriend a Child’s youth clubs, and before his mentoring began he was often described as boisterous, constantly climbing, running around and struggling to follow instructions. Since meeting with Paul however, the youth club coordinator has noticed a big change in Jack who appears calmer, more mature, willing to listen and even helps out with others at the club.
Paul has noticed the same progress. Reflecting on Jack’s journey, he said:
“When I first met Jack he was very quiet and held himself back. Over time though, he’s been brave enough to try new things and get involved. A really important part of that has been letting him choose what we do together, so he feels engaged and in control. He’s also much more communicative now and a real milestone moment was when we were walking back from the beach and came across a girl and her dad fishing. Jack turned to me and asked, ‘Paul, can we do that sometime?’ That was such a lovely thing to hear, and of course, we have!”
Through patience, encouragement and a genuine desire to make a difference, Paul has helped Jack grow in confidence, communication and self-belief. Their story is a powerful reminder of how one positive relationship can change the direction of a young person’s life, opening them up to new experiences, creating worthwhile memories and succeeding child-led goals.
If you have been inspired by Paul and Jack’s story, and would like to know more about becoming a mentor, please reach out to Olivia at o.polak@befriendachild.org.uk today.